Growing Into Your Full Power

We hear a lot about independence these days. Some chase it like it’s the ultimate prize. Others feel frustrated they don’t have it. And some slip into co-dependence without even realizing it. But what actually makes us strong? What helps us feel whole, powerful, and fulfilled?

We all picked up survival strategies early on. Dependence was one of them. It helped us get through childhood, and for a while, it worked. But if we stay stuck there as adults, we end up shrinking ourselves. Real growth happens when we move through the right stages at the right time—being dependent as kids, pushing for independence as teens, and eventually stepping into interdependence as adults. That’s where the magic is. That’s what I call Owning Life.

Owning Life is when you stop running on autopilot, shaped by old patterns, and start consciously creating your own path. It’s the thread that runs through every stage of growth. It helps you see where you are and gently nudges you toward where you want to be.

As kids, dependence is natural. Babies literally can’t survive without someone showing up for them. That’s where attachment theory comes in—our early bonds teach us what love and safety feel like. If those bonds are steady and nurturing, we grow up feeling secure. If they’re shaky or conditional, we might learn that love has to be earned by pleasing others.

The trouble starts when that early dependence sticks around too long. Adults sometimes carry those childhood patterns into their relationships. One partner might expect the other to act like a parent—always protecting, always nurturing, always carrying the emotional weight. It’s a very human longing, but it creates imbalance. Instead of two equals building something together, one becomes the caretaker and the other stays in the role of the dependent child. Over time, that dynamic wears both people down.

Owning Life means recognizing that dependence had its place, but it doesn’t define you now. It’s about honouring your story without letting it hold you back. It’s about stepping into relationships as someone who can give and receive love in equal measure.

Co-dependence is what happens when childhood dependence doesn’t grow up. It starts out as something necessary, but in adulthood, it turns into a pattern—one where we rely on someone else to feel safe, worthy, or whole. In co-dependent relationships, both people are stuck. They feed each other’s fears and insecurities. What looks like closeness is actually a bond built on survival, not growth.

Imagine two vines wrapped tightly around each other. At first, it seems like support. But over time, they start to suffocate each other. Neither can grow freely. They forget their own roots. They start draining each other’s energy. And if one falters, they both fall.

This shows up in families when a parent lives through their child. The child never fully becomes an adult because their identity is tied to the parent’s emotional needs. In romantic relationships, it can look like jealousy, fear of abandonment, constant fighting, or even an addiction to drama. What seems like passion is often just two people clinging to each other in ways that keep them stuck.

Owning Life here means seeing that false connection for what it is. It’s about gently untangling yourself from the patterns that keep you small. It’s about reclaiming your own roots and learning to stand tall—able to love deeply without losing yourself.

Then there’s the teenage phase. It’s messy, loud, and totally necessary. Teens push back. They say, “I’m not you, I’m me.” It’s the first big step toward independence. But some adults get stuck in that mode. They chase independence so hard that it turns into isolation. They push people away, reject connection, and end up feeling alone. Life becomes a loop of drama and loneliness. Because independence without connection isn’t freedom—it’s exile.

Owning Life means realizing that independence is only part of the story. True strength comes from knowing you can stand on your own and still choose to let others in.

There’s another trap we don’t talk about enough: workaholism. It looks like independence and success on the outside. But underneath, it’s often another form of co-dependence—this time with achievement, status, or financial security. When work becomes the thing we wrap ourselves around, the cost is steep. Relationships suffer. Kids feel disconnected. Health takes a hit. And sometimes, families fall apart because connection was sacrificed for constant striving.

Owning Life here means asking the hard question: Am I working to live, or living to work? It’s about finding balance—choosing ambition without losing presence, success without sacrificing health, and achievement without abandoning connection.

The sweet spot is interdependence. That’s adulthood at its best. You know who you are. You can stand on your own. And you still choose to connect deeply with others. It’s not about clinging or pushing people away. It’s about balance. You give and receive without losing yourself. You’re rooted, but open. That’s where your full power lives.

Owning Life here means stepping into authorship. You stop outsourcing your worth. You stop blaming the past. You stop waiting to be rescued. You write the next chapter. You decide how you show up, who you let in, and what kind of love you accept.

And if you’ve ever felt like those tangled vines—clinging, shrinking, or twisting—please know this: you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

The fact that you’re reading this means you’re already on the path to something stronger, freer, and more grounded.

You don’t have to do it alone. Reaching out is part of the journey. Sometimes we all need someone to remind us that we have roots—and that we’re capable of standing tall.

If this speaks to you, and you’re ready to grow into your full power, I’d love to walk beside you. Reach out. Let’s talk. Let’s start building the version of you that feels rooted, free, and fully alive.